How coming out made me faster

When I was 30 years old, I said two words that I had never said before. Those two words carried so much power, so much weight, so much anxiety. They were two words that I wanted to say for years, yet something within me would always hold them back. A little voice in my brain would say, “Now’s not the time” or “They’re not going to like you after you say it.” I was finally tired. Tired of carrying that extra weight. Tired of living life with part of myself hidden to those closest to me. It was finally time for me to say those two words out loud.

I’m gay.

Whew, it’s out there. The band aid was ripped off. It took 30 years for me to reach that point, and so often since I question why I waited so long. After I came out, I received nothing but acceptance and support. My family, my friends, and my community all sent me words of love and encouragement. I not only kept my close circle of friends, but gained so many new friends by opening myself up to the LGBTQ+ community.

I consider myself so lucky, as I know so many LGBTQ+ people do not experience this same acceptance from those in their lives. So many live their truths, not only without support but often with open opposition from their loved ones. We’ve come a long way in the past 40 years, but unfortunately we still have a long way to go for all people to be accepted and supported for who they are.

Why write about this on a running-themed website? How does this have anything to do with running, you may ask? Well, let me tell you. Being gay has always been a part of my being, of my existence. Contrary to what some may want to think, one does not simply choose to be gay. I was born this way, and it’s something I kept hidden within for far too long. When I finally decided to come out, something major changed with my running. I got so much faster.

There may have been other factors involved in my faster race times that began in 2018, but I really think it has to do with me coming out. As I said previously, living with this part of me hidden was a huge burden. It was mentally and emotionally heavy. When I finally came out, that huge weight was lifted. I was freer to live my truth, to run without that added weight. It not only made me happier all around, but it made me a faster runner.

I’m not here to say that life is now super easy and every day I run happy and light. No, some days are still hard and some days my legs still feel like concrete. But I lifted a major weight off that day, and I won’t look back. Maybe you have a similar burden or weight you’ve been carrying for far too long. Maybe you’re concerned about ripping off that band aid. If you feel safe to do so, now is the time to shed that extra weight. Now is the time to live happier and run faster.